A post that is actually about Rabat

I think it's about time to provide a short update on my life in Rabat. I don't feel as much of a need to write when I'm "home" (meaning, not traveling) because most days are similar...Arabic from 8:30 to 11:45 every morning, lunch at the CCCL, and afternoon lectures on cultural issues or field studies. After that, we run errands or hang out at the cafe or just walk around. I usually head home by 7, have tea with the family, do homework, try to be interesting for my host family's sake, have a very late and large dinner, then eventually break away (always a struggle) and force in a little alone time before bed to just read or listen to music. Not always possible, but it's a treat when it does happen.

Actually, I think that so far my home stay is the single element of this program that is teaching me the most. I hardly know where to begin in terms of talking about living with Hind and company...I adore them, they are wonderful people and so, so welcoming and indulgent (to the extent that they can afford to be), but there are difficulties on a daily basis. Not only is limited communication an issue, but coming from such different cultures, we have verrrrry different mindsets, so a lot of the time I don't understand their motivations and they don't understand mine.

Case in point: This weekend I was gone most of the day Saturday with SIT friends, exploring the Kasbah, Agdal (a suburb and a completely different world--we had lunch at TGI Friday's, my first burger and fries in a month and a half), and the Hassan II tower and mausoleum. Basically just catching up on some touristy things we hadn't had the chance to do before. Anyhow, because I was away all day my family insisted that I make merry with them all evening. Normally I'd be all for this, but I started getting sick towards evening on Saturday, and by 9 all I wanted to do was take a shower and sleep. I was not allowed to take a shower, because my host mom told me that I would get cold and even sicker. Then I was not allowed to go to bed because Hind and Hassan's friends were coming over with food, shisha (hookah), and beer. (Sidenote: Technically Muslims are not supposed to drink alcohol, but since I have younger host parents they sometimes do anyhow. This goes for a lot of Moroccans.) Moroccan hospitality/sociality demanded that they keep me around until one a.m., feeding me more Moroccan barbecue than my stomach could really handle. When I finally did get to bed I could barely sleep for coughing, plus quarters were cramped because about a dozen people stayed over that night.

This whole situation--sickness, exhaustion, not being able to recuperate and rest in a familiar and comfortable way--made me more upset than I've been in Morocco yet, very homesick and dubious about being here for two more months. I got over it once I started feeling better, but it really exemplifies that nothing here happens quite the way I would want it to, and I'm largely at the whims of my host family. Now that I feel fine again I recognize this as a good thing, because it forces me to immerse myself even when I'm not necessarily willing. Even if it's a good thing, though, it makes for hard moments.

It's funny, before I got here I thought that after a week or two culture shock would hit as one big wave of frustration and unhappiness, but that hasn't been true at all. It's more something that comes and goes, usually when I get frustrated about specific things--feeling gross and not being able to shower, having no alone time, eating more than I want to for the sake of making my family happy--and these things lead to an overall frustration, to the point where I want to yell at the men who try to follow me on the street or demand that my family leave me alone for a while. It's not that these emotions have been overwhelming me or anything; because they're not constant, I can keep them in check. But they're definitely present.

BUT don't think for a second that I'm miserable or anything like that. I'm continually happy to be here, excited by the rest of the semester, etc. I just wanted to feed you a dose of reality, because I realized that my past entries were mostly excitable posts about travels and whatnot. It's not always easy to be here, especially as a girl. Hopefully this gives you a fuller picture of what things are like for me day-to-day, both the good and the bad.

P.S. We leave for our rural village stay on Saturday, which will probably be the most intense week of the entire semester. I'll write promptly about that when I get back.